JohannesVIII's Doctor Who liveblogs archive: The Turing Test

[Original blog post on Tumblr: October 19th, 2016]

~~Some~~ Way too many highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (The Turing Test).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers (also I just noticed the letters of the typewriter in the background of this cover... sneaky).

This book’s pdf file is 196 pages long. I took 149 screenshots of it.

It’s an extraordinary book. Where do I even begin.

Okay, so, remember what I said about The Banquo Legacy? Something like “I wanted to like this book because its central concept - most of the story being narrated by people who know absolutely nothing about the main characters - is brilliant“? Well. This is it. This is that concept done right. This is that concept done one hundred percent right. Because we have to guess what’s really going on in the Doctor’s head during this story by relying entirely on its three narrators. Furthermore, their three experiences of the same story add up to form a bigger picture, like a puzzle.

Was there ever a better moment to write a book about what it means to be human than the middle of the Earth arc, and during WW2?

It’s a simple story in the end, but told in such a way that it becomes a lot more complex and infinitely more interesting than expected. It has heart, it has humor, it has tension, it really makes you think - it’s so close to perfection. So damn close to perfection.

But there’s one thing, one small detail I can’t let slide because it spoiled my enjoyment of some parts of the book, which prevents me from giving it a maximum score. So here’s a ridiculous 9,75/10 instead of a 10/10.

I don’t usually screen the “acknowledgements” part but when I do

IS THIS A GOOD OR A BAD THING

Okay, let’s get started.

I’m having flashbacks from my cryptography class in 2008, that was honestly one of the best classes in my History studies

I mean the final grade was 50% answering questions about the history of code breaking, and 50% straight-up code breaking, because our teacher didn’t f█ck around. Like, here’s your questions, and here’s a weather report encrypted with the ADFGVX cipher for 5 points out of 20 and a poem encrypted with the Vigenère cipher for 5 points out of 20. You have an hour. Good f█cking luck

Oooooh. I knew Alan Turing was in that book but I didn’t know he was the narrator. This is so cool. I admire Turing a lot.

I don’t know who Greene is, but “Heller” is vaguely ringing a bell. Wasn’t he a writer? I think he was a writer.

WHAT-WAIT WHAT- ARE YOU KIDDING ME- OH MY GOD

Okay so that’s why the book is named after that test but I’M SORRY I’M STILL PROCESSING THE FACT THAT THIS BOOK JUST DECIDED THAT TURING HAD A CRUSH ON THE DOCTOR HOLY SHIT

Aww

Is Eight trying to talk to a statue

I have no words

I can’t believe someone, somewhere, decided to write a book where Eight and Turing met, and immediately decided to write it like a Meet Cute

Everytime I’ll think about that fact, my world will instantly be better

Thank you Paul Leonard

TURING PLEASE STOP STARING and also stop being cute

I just realised the Doctor probably remembers who Turing is, and what will happen to him in like ten years, and now I’ve made myself sad

Okay. So he’s still mostly amnesiac, then, except for historical facts.

Ooooh, this is cool.

“A permanent exile”

“in the hope of friendship”

My heart didn’t need this either

Doctor stop it everyone will think you’re a spy this isn’t good

Also we’re only on page 13 and I already took 18 screenshots this is absurd

I’M HOWLING

ALAN NO. THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS

AND DOCTOR, MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE PHRASED THAT DIFFERENTLY

Ooooh, he thinks Alan might be able to help him fix the TARDIS!

There’s nothing to fix because the TARDIS is still wounded, even if the doors do open now. Also that whole scene must be so confusing for Alan.

HOWLING AGAIN

HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY EXPLAIN THAT SITUATION THOUGH

“Ah no, sorry for the noise we were just moving furniture because my friend was hoping to find something in that blue cupboard, but the cupboard is empty so now he’s crying on the floor”

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

Still laughing by the way

Ohhhh no cute

Did he understand something in the message?

Also Doctor holy shit I just realised you’ve probably spent 60 years stuck on Earth with no memory and a broken TARDIS at this point in this arc and this can’t be good for your health at all but could you please not scream like that, you’re kinda freaking Alan out

Alan no, for all you know he could be a spy

I’m not going to blame you Alan because tbh at this point Eight is basically waving his arms in the air saying LOOK I’M A SPY

Wait.

I just realised maybe Eight wanted to get caught for some reason.

I can’t remember why I have this reaction picture on my key but here you go

He’s got a plan. He’s clearly got a plan but we can only guess what it is because the narrator doesn’t know. I really like this.

MY HEART

You really miss your home don’t you Doctor

I cringed so damn hard

There’s two words in French in that part. In these two words, there’s THREE TYPOS. THREE. IN TWO. WORDS.

WAS IT SO DIFFICULT TO OPEN A F█CKING DICTIONARY FOR TEN SECONDS AND WRITE “LES BOCHES” INSTEAD OF THIS ABOMINATION, dear god I don’t except English writers to speak French but in a book with so much research you’d expect something so simple to be written correctly

“I promise not to scream this time”

This exile on Earth isn’t doing him much good is it

“Harsher in hindsight” trope in universe!

azsdfghjkldfghj

THE CODE IS AN ALIEN DISTRESS SIGNAL. SO COOL

I’m so confused

Oh.

OH.

Okay. I think we can safely assume that the Doctor finally realised he wasn’t human and this wasn’t his planet. Of course he wants to meet other aliens.

A perfectly reasonable reaction

Let’s get drunk

Honestly this book is starting to hurt

That kinda sheds light on why he didn’t fight WW1 too.

Please don’t scream or run away or cry

What the f█ck is that even supposed to mean

Oh. Greene is another author then.

Don’t make me use that “aliens” meme again

STOP IT YOU NERDS

That would sound quite mean without his general friendliness

Imagine hearing that for the first time

You know what Greene go f█ck yourself with a cactus

Is the Doctor trying to alert the aliens about their SOS being decoded?

GODDAMMIT

What the hell happened in that room

What’s going on, is Elgar dead

HARSHER IN HINDSIGHT

Also the mysterious & possibly alien woman is dead? What was she doing in that room? If she was his colleague, is Elgar an alien? I’m so confused

Oh I don’t know, maybe because most Americans think French people are dirty cowards, stink, are lazy and are basically a neverending punchline

And nowadays it’s 50% that stereotype 50% the weird & inaccurate image they have of a sophisticated dreamy Paris which never existed anywhere except in American movies and there’s little to no in-between

End of rant

I hope we’ll have more information on what happened back there at some point

“I cringed so hard” PART 2: THE REVENGE

Okay so first there’s a horrible typo in that “allez vous couches [sic]” sentence, which should be written “Allez vous coucher” and should mean “go to sleep“ but sounds a bit like “go slept” with that typo?

And there’s miraculously nothing grammatically wrong with that second sentence, but nobody talks like that except people who use Google Translate without knowing anything about French. I can’t speak for everyone but I’d say “Allez dormir, demain matin tout ira mieux” ou “Allez dormir, ça ira mieux demain”. But certainly not that awkward string of words.

I swear, it’s hurting my enjoyment of this book.

Honestly this is heartbreaking for a lot of reasons

Yessssss he found him again!!

Also for some reason my MP3 player’s randomiser just decided it was a good idea to play Kill the Lights by The Birthday Massacre ~~(yeah I know I have terrible musical tastes that isn’t the point it’s modern new wave and I like new wave shut up)~~. There’s a lot of songs I associate with things I love, including a ton of Doctor Who things (for example I can no longer listen to Orchestra by The Servant and not think about Turlough), but I had never associated this song with anything in particular. I mean, I’ve loved it since 2008 or so and I’ve listened to it way too much at the time, and yet, nothing.

BUT NOW I JUST REALISED HOW HORRIBLY FITTING THE LYRICS WERE FOR THIS BOOK AND I THINK I’M GOING TO ASSOCIATE IT WITH THAT STORY FOREVER AND I DON’T EVEN CARE IF IT’S SOME RIDICULOUS NEW WAVE GOTH SONG I’M NOT OKAY ALL THE SAME

“A world of mathematics and magic and science and beauty”

Also go f█ck yourself Greene part 2: the return

These two are cuter than they have any right to be

Also:

That sound you just heard was my heart breaking in a thousand little shards, first because Turing didn’t finish to record his recollection of the events before he killed himself, second because he killed himself, even though I knew from the start the real Turing did so in real life, third because the narration has switched to a new narrator and it’s Greene now, of all people

Greene I could tell you to go f█ck yourself a third time but no

Instead I just remembered an old saying which goes “I wish you’d become a lantern so you’d be hanged by the neck every day and set on fire every night”

That’s what I wish for you Greene

I hope you understand

Please go on & I’ll try not to be too angry because I still want to know your side of the story and also what happened next

I...I

Listen Greene I usually try to take in consideration the prejudices of each time period when people say shit like that okay but there’s a difference between being prejudiced and downright insulting a war hero who just died, even in universe and taking in consideration the time period you’re from YOU’RE STILL AN ASSHOLE GREENE

Oh, so Greene found the aliens first? And they look human?

In any case, they are pretty creepy.

More links to the distress call with a basic language!

I’m confused now.

Greene also met the Doctor before all the previous stuff happened and never told Turing about it either. The plot thickens.

Also Eight is in a prison cell, take a shot if you’re playing a drinking game

“This is rare” doesn’t mean “this doesn’t exist” Greene

More information on what Eight has been up to since the last time we saw him!

Wait a second, so there’s two kinds of aliens, then? And one is trying to find the other for vague unpleasant reasons? And they both look human?

*sigh*

That question has never been more pertinent in that range of books, for a multitude of reasons

That’s it then, he’s looking for these aliens because he wants to know if they’re like him or not, and this book keeps finding new ways to hurt me

Meanwhile, Daria, aka that person who died during that weird incident that happened previously, is clearly not human and also part creepy, part hilarious

She also sounds very ominous from time to time

So the singing ones are the one with the limited vocabulary and the distress signal, and the other ones want to find them and possibly destroy them.

Also Eight is in a prison cell again, take a shot

Okay so Daria and possibly Elgar are the ones looking for the singing ones. Also, they could be robots because they’re metallic.

Eight defending Alan is my new aesthetic

Doctor, you can tell Greene not to sleep with alien robots all you want but you know he’s going to anyway

Always nice to have more quotes confirming the Doctor is asexual, especially when they are as direct as this one

I TOLD YOU GREENE WOULD DO IT ANYWAY

GODDAMMIT

HOLY SHIT OKAY SO THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED WHEN DARIA WAS KILLED

AND THAT’S WHY EIGHT KNEW FOR SURE SHE WAS DEAD AND NOT ELGAR, HE GAVE THE THING THAT KILLED HER TO GREENE

The title of this book is so well chosen. It echoes so many things in that story. There’s Turing. There’s aliens who look like humans. There’s robots who try to be humans. There’s the Doctor trying to figure out what he is exactly while everyone around him wonders if he’s human or not. All of this in the middle of a horrible war where the notion of “humanity” is constantly challenged.

My point exactly.

Elgar downright told Greene he was in a human disguise oh woah

Also, needless to say, Elgar is extremely creepy

“physically about twenty months ; actually, infinitely old”

Uh. Interesting. More bird metaphors for the singing ones.

How much do you want to bet he put the match under his chin to add even more drama to that line

Hi Alan I’m so glad to see you again in this story, I’ve missed you, you and your enthusiasm about maths and electronics and distant stars

Honestly I want to hear Heller’s side of the story too, now

This is only a small detail but my heart

I love this description

Greene’s recollection of the events is important to understand what happened but I already think he’s the most clueless narrator of the three even though we still haven’t read Heller’s version of the story

Good point but you do realise they are enemies right

“They went, when you shot the Doctor”

Guys I think I got it

Eight isn’t trying to find aliens like himself

He wants to go with them and leave the Earth

Oh no, kitty nooo

Also, because of that gif I used previously to describe Eight freehugging Alan, all I can think of is:

No no no he isn’t he’s okay don’t fight okay

Achievement unlocked: feeling some respect for Greene

Good. Finally.

A new narrator!

This is going to be interesting. ~~Also I want to know if I’m right~~

This scene is priceless and I’m cackling

Heller stop it you’re embarrassing yourself

Still cackling by the way

A++ description Heller

The major read Heller’s charges to Eight because he thought he was the culprit and Eight doesn’t deny anything oh my god

I LOVE THIS F█CKING SCENE IT MAKES NO SENSE AND I NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH AFTER GREENE’S BULLSHIT

Yeah don’t do that extremely specific thing

Reminds me of a joke when I was a kid, it went “you know how to change pasta into gold? It’s very easy, just boil it and this is very important do not at ANY POINT think of a crocodile in a tutu not even for a second, REMEMBER THAT”

Guys I think my guess was right

This scene looks rather scary in my head

#feelings

azsdfghjklghjkl I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TWO TO STOP BEING CUTE

OOOOOH OKAY the singing ones can’t teleport because Elgar is jamming their teleport signal! Everything makes sense! Well, almost everything

“It doesn’t need to end”

I’m honestly this close to tears so please stop

I’m also honestly starting to wonder what’s possessing my MP3 player’s randomiser because it’s currently playing Saved by a Bell by Mike Oldfield and ♫ Would you like to look through my telescope? ♫ The milky way's a fine sight to see ♫