Dark Progeny

[Original blog post on Tumblr: July 12th, 2017]

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Dark Progeny).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers.

I was expecting better from the author of the unexpectedly good Casualties of War, but as it turns out, he doesn’t really know what to do with the main characters when there’s more than one. So Fitz gets sidelined in a subplot which doesn’t really lead anywhere, and Anji is either comatose or delirious for almost the entire book. Meanwhile, the main plot takes forever to progress and is rather thin in the end.

By all accounts, it should be bad, but here’s something weird: it’s not. There’s enough good scenes to keep you interested even if nothing much is happening. It’s definitely an average book, but not unpleasantly so. 5/10

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Breaking news! Fitz is still an anxious little shit.

Doctor give him a break.

The tapping foot thing is extremely relatable.

10/10 The book is over everyone can go home now

What. What happened. She was fine at the end of the previous book.

“Very very not good when the Doctor starts spouting technobabble“

[CONCERN FOR ANJI INTENSIFIES]

I’d say Fitz is underreacting but that’s not even in the top ten worst things that ever happened to him, so it’s understandable.

[CONCERN FOR FITZ INTENSIFIES TOO]

Oh, gee. I wonder if that guy named Tyran is the bad guy, uh?

Mr Tyran is a confirmed shithead

‘Ugh who cares about a mysterious civilization who disappeared right on the planet we’re terraforming, it’s not like what’s killed it can affect us, right’

Yes, it can buy nearly anything but can it buy flying purple hippos fluent in ten languages? Can it? Yeah. I thought so.

Well that was rude

Oh so that’s what they use to terraform the place.

Take a shot every time someone says the double hearts thing is an echo or a double exposure on a scanner, even though an actual echo or double exposure doesn’t look like that at all.

Now that’s interesting, we’re in a future where people customise their bodies so much that Eight isn’t immediately identifiable as an alien being.

Oh no they didn’t find Fitz, only Eight and Anji, he’s still outside

Glad to see you share my concern, Doctor, but please calm down

Calm down, you’re getting dangerously close to "scary”

Good. Go find him.

(Also “Domecq” is the alias the Doctor is using, because the staff was expecting a certain "Doctor Domecq" to arrive.)

You’re most certainly not. You’re not even a first-aid kit. You get hurt all the time. I’m even maintaining a google sheet of all the times you get hurt. Come back you idiot.

Aw he didn’t find him.

Oh no now he thinks Fitz is dead and he’s depressed as f█ck this isn't okay

Wait, wtf was the real Domecq working on

So… some people around there are randomly giving birth to the extinct aliens who used to live on that planet and you’re still not stopping the terraforming process.

Okay.

Oh no this is cute

AND, I INSIST, YOU’RE STILL NOT STOPPING THE PROJECT?

Good.

HAHAHA Good luck Mr Tyran, unless you bring weapons out I doubt your usual intimidation tactics will work with him

That line is pretty cool.

No, it’s not.

Uh. Okay.

Now you’re making me sad.

OH SHIT SHE FOUND FITZ

About time too, we’re almost halfway through the book.

Doctor you little shit

Fitz no

I want to see the dig, now.

“poking intensified”

She was saving your life, you idiot.

This is all very relatable, though.

“Do you ever stop talking“

Oh. Tyran has probably realised it was a bad idea to grant him access to ALL the computers.

Oops!

Doctor Who in a nutshell

OF COURSE HE’S GONNA GET TORTURED. OF COURSE. ANJI BEING IN A COMA AND FITZ ALMOST GETTING KILLED IN A SANDSTORM WEREN’T ENOUGH CLEARLY.

[҉̡̕D̀͟͜R̶̨ ̢N̡Y̧A̡R̀L͜A͟TH̕OT̡͟E̛P͘͟͟ I͜͜͠N̵͞TE̡N҉͡͠S̛͞I͜҉FI̡̧̢E͜͢͡S͢͢]̨ 

Of course Fitz gets violently interrogated as well, why am I not even surprised.

Thanks Ayla

I snorted so hard it scared my cat.

FITZ. NO.

Well that was still pretty cute.

Oh. Is Anji affected by the alien kids? Was it why she was in a coma before?

Business as usual.

Shit, and now a prison cell. Is this book an EDAs tropes checklist?

Eight trying to escape as soon as he’s locked in a cell, but mostly failing: check

Bad idea bad idea bad idea

MMMMMH I HOPE THIS ISN'T CHRIS'S BLOOD

And Tyran just killed one of the alien kids to prove a point.

That’s… actually a good idea.

Again, the EDAs in a nutshell.

Hey, he actually managed to escape!

Relatable

Oh shit wtf

DOCTOR YOU IDIOT DON’T SCARE PEOPLE LIKE THAT

Not a good summary of this book.

Are we finally going to the dig?

Oh no haha I love their names.

This is also pretty cute.

He’s still convinced Fitz is dead and my heart doesn’t need this.

OH NOOOO DON’T CRY

That funeral is probably the best scene in the book, actually.

OH SHIT WHAT I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT WHAT

A severe case of TARDIS face, as Dominion said.

Also I just realised Fitz's subplot in this book leads absolutely nowhere.

You idiot.

Well, gee. I wonder if Anji’s really dead, uh. I really believe that.

That must feel like coming back home only to find someone drinking tea in your kitchen.

AZSDFGHJKDFGHJKGHJK I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOTS

The guy named "GASKILL TYRAN" is... bad?! Who could have known?

Pretty interesting but we’re almost at the end, which is a shame, because that idea could have been developed better.

Anji isn’t dead. Surprise.

“Fitz found himself once again a man with far too many rifles pointed directly at him“

The plot was rather thin in the end. It’s a bit sad.

Holy shit Doctor

Okay. Okay. Everyone’s ok. Don’t scream like that again.

Well, that was a downer.

...except not! Nice.

Also, Emmerson still has the best "about the author" texts, haha.