JohannesVIII's Doctor Who liveblogs archive: Eater of Wasps

[Original blog post on Tumblr: March 15th, 2017]

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Eater of Wasps).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers.

O-kay, so this cover is pretty gruesome, I wonder if this is a-

OH SHIT OH NO

Well, that was unexpectedly great.

The problems keep piling up in this story and the action never really stops. It’s pretty straightforward and I wish some characters were given a bit more to do, but the regulars are still well written. Eight hasn’t been this alien since The Burning (which makes sense since it’s the same kind of story, with a basic plot but written like a thriller), Fitz is his usual loyal self, even when he’s scared shitless by the events, and Anji has some of the most interesting moments.

It’s also a real page-turner, with some gloriously horrible body horror left and right and more than a few laughs among all the stress. Unlike the previous book, this one doesn’t really try to make a point, it has a very traditional structure (if you forget the ton of gore thrown at us), and it’s just a gripping adventure with no other goal in mind. Definitely refreshing. 8/10

Okay this is a Baxendale book, so... how long have we got before the body horror and/or the killing starts

THAT WAS LITERALLY THE FIRST LINE

The TARDIS sounds like “a rather poorly cow”, according to this lady.

I laughed out loudly

Get back in the police box, Fitz, you unshaven untrustworthy criminal

Still laughing but I hope this old bigot dies in this story tbh

This description of our current Eight is simultaneously delightful and sad.

Miss “Old-bat-on-a-bike” Havers sounds exactly like a certain person who’s currently running for president in my country and who I hope to see crash and burn in the near future with all my heart

How many racist bigots are there in Miss “I-speak-for-the-whole-village” Havers’ shoes exactly

WELP TIME FOR FUN HEADCANONS ABOUT DANY PINK’S FAMILY TREE

“MISS HAVERS APPEARED READY TO COLLAPSE UNDER THIS ONSLAUGHT OF FOREIGN-SOUNDING NAMES”

Nope. Nope.

Eight wants to drive a tractor.

Also wasn’t he travelling far away from England in the thirties? I recall he said something like that in The Turing Test.

I’m smiling through the sadness this is confusing

Eight geeking about vintage cars, everyone

I really like the Pink brothers so far, so I’m pretty sure at least one of them is going to suffer horribly in this story

Well that’s also what Lawrence Miles claims and his books are roughly 50% politics so I don’t know about this

Eh eh

Eight playing Paranoid on a piano is my new aesthetic

Also I wondered how it would sound like on a piano and holy shit look at this video this person is so talented, like, damn

I don’t know who Kala is but her haircut made me laugh

So Rigby’s possessed by the wasps in some way?

Anji saying “bloody” impresses Hilary Pink and I find this endearing, somehow

We know, Eight, we know

The descriptions of the TARDIS team are great in this book.

I love this scene??

“There was something wrong” = understatement of the month

This creeps me out way more than the wasps themselves, to be honest, because I don’t particularly hate them. I have no idea how painful a wasp sting is because I’ve never been attacked by any of them ever. Granted, I don’t like them, but still.

Wait a second, is the old bigot contaminated too now?

“PITY ABOUT THE PLUMS”

COULD YOU PRETEND TO BE SAD ABOUT THE DEAD GUY FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE SECONDS YOU WALNUT

Extremely relatable

Run away. Run. Away.

Anji no

Good description cut, like, 10/10 would cut again

Can I breathe now? Cause I’d really enjoy that

Apparently I can’t

OH NOT MY HEART HE KEPT THE LETTER FOR 90 YEARS

I’m laughing like an idiot, that never gets old

Still laughing by the way

Well you did ask

Always the best course of action

I love this scene so much oh my god

Well that’s completely different, then

Have I already told you I loved this new TARDIS team with all my heart

[Unexpected sadness]

1) Eight was a sailor during the thirties, why isn’t there a book about that

2) Is that a reference to Pertwee’s tattoo?

3) If Eight really has a tattoo, wouldn’t that be a first (Three’s tattoo was there for real life reasons so it doesn’t really count)?

4) A tattoo of what

5) Where

6) If he hasn’t one and that’s all a lie… is… is he flirting with Fitz

I have no words

My hair is standing on end on my arms I’m not even joking at all holy f█cking shit that’s so f█cking creepy

OH. THAT’S EASY THEN. JUST IGNORE THE HUMAN WASP HIVE STANDING ABSOLUTELY STILL IN COMPLETE DARKNESS WITH HIS MOUTH OPEN TWO METERS AWAY FROM YOU. JUST IGNORE HIM. BECAUSE THAT’S VERY EASY, RIGHT

This shouldn’t be that funny but I’m half laughing half cringing

This scene is terrifying and hilarious at the same time, which results in me cringing like there’s no tomorrow

F█CK I KNEW IT

Holy shit Doctor

Good job, Kala, 10/10

Don’t we all

Oh god please try to explain the context to the police, Eight, I really want you to explain how you arrived in a police box and how Wasp Man is menacing that village because somebody dropped an alien thingie there

Nevermind

Funnier in hindsight

Fitz Kreiner, prison cells connaisseur

Of course he wouldn’t, but that’s still concerning.

Wait Miss “Old-bat-on-a-bike” Havers isn’t dead yet? Is there no justice in the world? (don’t answer that)

“I’m not sure what he is”

Oh that's perfectly normal then

Hey isn’t that the cover of the book?

Eight this is an autopsy for crying out loud don’t act like it’s an unboxing video

Oh. Oh wait. Oh f█ck. Is this book “SCP-439, but with wasps and the victims are mobile"? Oh shit that’s suddenly ten times worse

KILL IT WITH FIRE

~~FOR THE LULZ For the Vine~~ no idea

Okay book I like you very much but there’s only so many times I can say "nope" in this liveblog and I’m going to run out of nopes soon

EXTREMELY RELATABLE??

I know the feeling, Eight, but please try to focus

That’s… that’s not exactly what she meant, Fitz. I do adore the fact that you had prepared an answer to that question, though

Hehe of course he would offer mint humbugs instead of jelly babies just to troll everyone about the wasps thing – also I want one, I’ve never tasted one before

Oh no cute

[Takes references for future drawings]

Honestly I love this description

SCREAMING

THERE’S BEEN A LOT OF GREAT SCENES IN THIS BOOK ALREADY BUT THAT’S IN THE TOP THREE FOR SURE

Eight you nerd

...........of course you did

implying things aren’t messy already

"overtactile"

Also I still can’t get this out of my head, wasn’t she attacked earlier ?

Ignore me I’m just dying a little bit over there

10/10 would fraud again

This book is almost non-stop action AND funny AND scary and honestly it would be a top-grade perfect Doctor Who book if the writing was slightly better and if the plot was a bit more original

Eight this is a bad idea and you know it

Anji is channelling my exact reaction

Eight every time you end up fighting someone it doesn’t end well for you

That quote is wonderful, I’m gonna memorise it for future D&D games

“It always looks easier in the movies”

This f█cking dialogue oh my god

Or perhaps you could blast the fire extinguisher right in his face before he hurts anyone else, just an idea

“Mad? I’m absolutely furious"

Nobody No-One’s on the phone & he wants his quote back

That’s always been one of my favorite things with Eight, his tendency to take one look at trolley problems and be like "nah". People die accidentally all the time but most of the time he refuses to be the person who decides who lives and who dies. Of course it’s highly debatable, but that’s what makes it interesting in the first place.

"Hope this is not Chris's blood"

Friendly reminder that the Doctor can detect blood types

I don’t know why but that particular sentence makes me laugh, the mental picture is irresistible

Fitz is that guy who always gets killed in slasher movies

And Eight can finally drive a tractor eeeeeee

That’s it that’s the book

Still in love with the descriptions from Rigby’s point of view, by the way.

GREAT EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED

GREAT EXACTLY WHAT WE NEEDED 2: THE QUICKENING

Also a defining trait of Eight in all his stories: his refusal to give up. Which is why the beginning of Dark Eyes was so great. And also Ship in a Bottle, because sometimes people need to remind him there’s always hope.

And that’s also what makes Night of the Doctor so heartwrenching ; it’s the Doctor who “never ever gives up” finally giving up, for good.

1) Anji is still channelling my thoughts 2) Honestly I’m glad Rigby’s now an actual monster because the human hive thing standing motionless in complete darkness was infinitely more creepy to me