[Original blog post on Tumblr: January 20th, 2016]
Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Interference: Shock Tactic).
I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers. And extremely long.
The ideas in this book are absolutely incredible, creative and wonderful.
Nothing much happens in it.
To be more precise, there’s so many story threads that in the end, each character hasn’t moved a lot from their initial position once the book is over. It’s like seeing the beginning of a game of chess. A very slow one. It isn’t bad by any mean, and it sets up the next book very well, but it really tests your patience at times.
The second half should better be amazing, because I’d hate to see all this buildup go to waste. 7/10
You do realise that feeling the need to claim right off the bat that you don’t have any political agenda sounds pretty suspicious and also immature, right?
Whatever.
Wait. I’m already confused. I.M.Foreman is a Time Lady?
Hmmmmmmm.
Well have I got news for you
Okay first this is really damn cool and I will hear no argument otherwise, and second, is this the Crucible of Worlds from Magic the Gathering? Probably.
The more I read the EDAs the less I find anything in Day of the Doctor original.
Hold on a minute. Sam is already gone? We need a flashback, please.
Yes please give us a flashback.
I think we found someone more awkward and clumsy than Fitz, and yes, before you say anything, apparently it is possible.
Oh my god
MR. LLEWIS, EVERYBODY
Ooooooh futuristic binoculars, this is really cool!
Remember that time when Eight said he had misplaced the ceiling of the console room? Well it wasn’t the only room, apparently.
I’m just going to call this room the Landfill Room.
I can’t stop laughing
Aw this is a bit sad, though.
NevermIND
Easy mistake.
“That’s the whole point of regeneration”
And the Zygons and the- SHUT UP
Good old attention deficit, still Eight’s worst enemy.
Okay so it’s obvious by now, but the story is told completely out of order, and in this part, Eight is in a prison cell. Again. And they broke his arm.
Why do I get the feeling that this is only going to get worse?
Oh yeah. Seeing I.
Oh this is sad. I’ve never thought about it that way.
Well I’ve never thOUGHT ABOUT IT THAT WAY BEFORE, EITHER
We already know that the events of Seeing I made him very claustrophobic (as evidenced in Dominion, among other books), so the fact that the author chose the same kind of situation to torment the character proves that said author is kind of an █sshole.
Eight trying to escape from prison cells before claustrophobia and pain make him completely catatonic: a life story essay
OKAY SO HERE’S THE PLOT OF “SILENT HILL 4 : THE ROOM” SUMMED UP ACCIDENTALLY BUT NEARLY PERFECTLY BY THE TITLE OF THIS CHAPTER
TOO BAD THIS IS “ROOM 306″ AND NOT “302″
I... I was only joking about Silent Hill, guys.
Hmmmmmmmm noPE
ROLL CREDITS
How the f█ck does that work and why the hell is it called “Cold”?
WAIT WHAT
THE COLD IS ACTUALLY A PLACE
AND FITZ IS NOW IN THAT PLACE WHAT THE HELL
[concern for Fitz Kreiner intensifies]
WHAT DO YOU MEAN A VERY VERY LONG TIME
HOW LONG EXACTLY
NO F█CK YOU
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO FITZ & STOP JUMPING FROM ONE STORY THREAD TO ANOTHER LIKE A GRASSHOPER ON A POGO STICK
ALSO WHY IS IT ALL SCRIPTED LIKE A MOVIE ALL OF A SUDDEN
EVEN SAM KNOWS THIS ISN’T RIGHT, STOP IT
What the hell, Kode?
Sarah Jane and Sam are a very good team and I love seeing them together!
That sounds exactly like a noob on the SCP Foundation wiki trying to write something cool and dark and edgy and just being ridiculous.
NO
NO YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE A 600 YEARS ELLIPSE AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED AT ALL
I HATED IT WHEN THAT HAPPENED IN SERIES 6 AND I STILL HATE IT NOW AND THE ONLY TIME THAT KIND OF THING WORKS IS WHEN YOU SHOW US AN EMOTIONAL ACCOUNT OF WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MEANTIME LIKE IN “HEAVEN SENT” OR “ORBIS”
I KNOW I’M SUPPOSED TO FEEL HORRIFIED BUT I’M JUST ANGRY
Come on Miles, you’re better than that. Alien Bodies was fantastic. Can you only bottle lightning once? Come on man.
Even if it only felt like six months to him, he should definitely be more shaken than he is by the whole ordeal.
Oh no.
Oh no no no.
I see what you did there, Sarah Jane.
This gives a whole new dimension to the words “Unit dating controversy”.
What do you mean you were there when it happened??
I’m getting surprisingly emotional about this.
This is a good question, though.
Hmmmmmmmmm
ZAGREUS SITS INSIDE YOUR HEAD ZAGREUS LIVES AMONG THE DEAD
This is interesting.
Oh no help this is cute.
...........what kinD OF SHIP?
OH MY GOD IS FITZ GOING TO JOIN THE FACTION JUST BECAUSE HE’S F█CKING BORED
OH GOD HE'S REALLY GONNA DO IT SDFGHJKJHGF
Friendly reminder that Faction Paradox is one of the most f█cked-up things we’ve seen in the EDAs so far.
You go, Sam!
YOU GO, SAM.
Compassion I don’t want to alarm you but you sound exactly like an American gun rights activist, and long story short you are a terrible person.
NOPE
Fitz, you are being surprisingly calm about the whole thing.
That Faction shadow sounds like an emo teenager desesperately trying to sound edgy and dangerous and failing miserably.
Let me think about this for a minute.
Nope.
What.
The Ogron is called Lost Boy and he’s surprisingly nice.
OH MY ACTUAL F█CKING GOD
I have no words
Faction Paradox propaganda isn’t particularly subtle, is it?
You’ve got a point, Sam, but to be fair the Time Lords probably rewrote their own version of the thing, too.
This shouldn’t make any damn sense but the fact that it doesn’t somehow makes the whole thing work - specifically because the Faction works on loopholes in Time and Space, and therefore could also exploit things that don’t make sense precisely because they don’t make sense - and also my head hurts.
Meanwhile in the Eight-in-prison story thread thinGS CONTINUE TO NOT BE OKAY AT ALL
...Eight is now writing equations in his cell wiTH HIS OWN BLOOD
I kinda want to laugh and cry at the same time, this is a very confusing feeling
His equations made him meet Sarah Jane in the TARDIS in the past - wether this is actually happening or not is a bit unclear at this point.
LIES. There’s still 70 pages before the next book.
#aesthetic
Yes I was about to say COULD YOU PLEASE HURRY UP A LITTLE
Ah yes, exactly what we needed: a sixth story thread.
Oooooh, this one is about a past regeneration of I.M.Foreman! Interesting. Also, she used to be blind. And a guy.
Also here’s another story thread involving Three finding someone in a room in his TARDIS and wait a f█CKING SECOND
Eight has somehow managed to contact Three?!
Oh, so that means Three and Sarah Jane have just buried Laika, then.
Ah yes another big paradox, that won’t help the Faction at all of course, just what we needed, right.
Is this Absolution all of a sudden?!
Well, welcome to the world of the EDAs, Sarah Jane, enjoy your stay.
Nah, it’s more like Eight’s kind of thing.
You have.
Oh, so I. M. Foreman used to travel with a freak show?!
What do you mean, “chosen to be”?
I.M.Foreman, you are really damn cool but also creepy as hell.
Just so you know.
Wait.
Wait wait wait.
Please tell me the whole freak show is just made of all the regenerations of I.M.Foreman.
Oooooooh this is very clever and I love it.
HELL YEAH IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME
I snorted.
That’s a very good analysis and I love it.
YES VERY GOOD
JOHANNES APPROVES THIS SHIT
YES PLEASE THIS IS WAY TOO SLOW
WELL F█CK YOU TOO, SIR
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