[Original blog post on Tumblr: January 5th, 2016]
Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Autumn Mist).
I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers. And extremely long.
This book has “missed opportunity” written all over it. No, wait, “missed opportuniTIES”, plural. The Doctor is confronted to horrible events involving Sam, and barely reacts to them - also he’s written in a “generic Doctor” way. Sam meets a very strange fate but it’s completely undone at the end of the book without having ever done anything creative with it. Fitz, who’s been bullied during his childhood because of his origins, gets thrown into World War Two... and there is next to no examination of that situation. That’s already three missed opportunities, but wait, there’s more.
Remember the line in the previous book about a Sidhe, a creature dwelling in eleven dimensions, almost incomprehensible for Griffin (who’s already dwelling in more dimensions than human beings and that the Doctor himself can’t completely understand)? That throwaway line that was so great it made me feel a bit dizzy just trying to imagine how a being like that could look like? Well, the author of Autumn Mist took the concept of the Sidhes and basically reduced them to their name. They are faeries. That’s it. What a horrible, horrible decision and what an unbelievable brankruptcy of imagination.
Wait, I’m not finished yet. How the hell can you come up with a setting like “World War Two disrupts higher dimensions whose inhabitants decide to get involved in the conflict“ and write such a boring book? Because there’s potential there. There’s the root of a great story about the pointlessness of human wars from the point of view of something completely alien – but no. Nothing. Oh, and also, despite a few assholish characters on the Allied side, the conflict is far too black and white. No redeemable German character whatsoever. Even my grandfather who actually lived through the Occupation during World War Two tells more nuanced stories about German soldiers. Incredible.
Is it as abysmally pointless as War of the Daleks? Not really. Is it as badly written as Placebo Effect? No, even if it’s not very well written. But it is definitely more infuriating than anything I have read in this range so far. What a waste. 2/10
You might be doing your job as a soldier, sir, but you are still an asshole.
Good. Please go get killed by an alien.
THERE’S AN ACTUAL KITCHEN IN THE TARDIS
I often joke about Eight acting like some sort of Space Oscar Wilde so I’m glad whenever someone agrees with that.
Don’t act like this isn’t what happens in 75% of the episodes, Doctor.
“Invasive surgery”
My god
Okay so they’ve landed in a war zone. That’s already a 5 on the Jones-Richter scale of bad landings.
You are all going to be separated again, aren’t you?
DORKS
DOCTOR DON’T TELL PEOPLE HOW TO USE A GUN THAT THEY ARE POINTING AT YOU. JESUS CHRIST.
Ho don’t do it
Oh my god
THAT WAS STILL A TERRIBLE IDEA FITZ
YOU’RE LUCKY TO BE ALIVE SO THE LACK OF CIGARETTES IS A MINOR INCONVENIENCE YOU USELESS DORK
Fitz is getting very genre-savvy, isn’t he?
Doctor no
OH NO YOU DIDN’T
Meanwhile Sam has been taken prisoner and I hope this won’t be another excuse for something awful to happen to her, but who am I kidding.
That’s it, I’m concerned for Sam again.
Concern for Sam Jones intensifies
Concern for Sam Jones reACHES CRITICAL LEVELS
The “concern for Sam Jones”-meter is now broken
You’ve got to admit, he has a point, Fitz.
Oh. So she won’t stay dead then. That’s a bit too soon and too easy.
The Doctor correcting other people’s pronouns for Death, everybody
Don’t worry Doctor she probably won’t stay dead.
What the hell are you?
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO GET INTO THE DOCTOR’S PANTS STOP THAT
He was just being assaulted by an alien, you know, Garcia, business as usual.
Harsher in hindsight
Or not.
See? I knew it.
When I was younger I used to design a lot of alien species, and several of them talked with notes instead of words. So yeah, not an original idea, but I’m always glad to find that concept used in SF, even in a subpar book like this one seems to be so far.
Also, this is kind of cool.
Are you saying the aliens are faeries?
If you needed more proof that the future incarnations are lying about their age, here it is.
I kinda like this description too, but I’m sad the author is only applying common faeries tropes to these beings.
TITANIA STOP TRYING TO GET INTO THE DOCTOR’S PANTS HE JUST TOLD YOU HE WASN’T INTERESTED
OKAY THIS ON THE OTHER HAND IS REALLY COOL
OH MY F█CKING GOD FITZ
Oh noooo
He immediately guessed who that was oh my god
That would be a lot cooler if you hadn’t borrowed that from the previous book, mister writer.
DON’T MAKE ME THINK OF BOOKS THAT ARE BETTER THAN THIS ONE YOU’RE DIGGING YOUR OWN GRAVE
So yeah, Sam’s get-out-of-jail card is regeneration, forced by the Sidhes.
Sam is always asking the important questions
I snorted.
I don’t know why I’m laughing but I am.
The Doctor trying to steal a tank everybody.
Good.
Friendly reminder that Eight is also a nightmare fuel station attendant.
Well if you put it that way
I can think of at least two but you haven’t met the second one yet.
Harsher iN HINDSIGHT
Well if Sam really leaves like this, that will be a very boring exit.
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