JohannesVIII's Doctor Who liveblogs archive: Frontier Worlds

[Original blog post on Tumblr: May 10th, 2016]

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Frontier Worlds).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers. And extremely long.

That book brought my EDAs reading streak to a grinding halt. After four challenging books full of great ideas, complex storytelling and dazzling imagery, here’s a terribly unoriginal plot about an evil corporation exploiting an alien plant. That’s basically it, and it wouldn’t be that bad if the book was shorter, but it’s way too long, and the ending is completely anticlimactic. Long story short, that book wasted my time.

I debated for a while if it was better than The Face-Eater, which had a similar problem with its plot - in the end, it’s objectively slightly better than The Face-Eater because it handles the regulars better, but it also entertained me a lot less. So yeah. 3/10

Why are all the chapter titles based on song titles?

Doctor, you’re babbling. Stop it.

We’re only five pages into the book and Eight has already fallen from a cliff and dislocated his shoulder, I have a bad feeling about this.

Fitz trying to look detached and failing to do so is precious

THIS IS WAY TOO CUTE MY GOD

STOP. BEING. CUTE.

These two are killing me, honestly look at them, this dork has a broken shoulder and just had a terrifying fall, and yet the only thing that worries him so far is the fact that Fitz might not be eating properly, I can’t handle this

Oooooh pretty fishes.

Dangerous pretty fishes.

In less than 20 pages the Doctor has fallen from a cliff, has dislocated his shoulder, was bruised everywhere, has fallen in trees, has hurt his ribs and is now slipping into a protective coma in the snow. This might be a new record.

Also he dreams of the TARDIS talking to him in a humanoid form that looks like a lady in a blue dress.

Also there’s a lot of parts with Fitz written in first person. And he’s got a new girlfriend. Considering what happened in Revolution Man, I’d say she’s doomed from the start.

And his alias is “Frank Sinatra” this time. Really.

So he’s got body image issues. Didn’t know that. Makes sense.

Compassion no

BEST LINE IN THE WHOLE BOOK NOTHING IS GOING TO TOP THIS EVERYONE CAN GO HOME

I shouldn’t have laughed at this joke but I did

Meanwhile, Eight can’t catch a break.

Oh my god okay that guy actually molted.

I had a similar idea when I was a kid, it was a plant with huge seeds that could migrate from planet to planet. You could hitch a ride in them if you weren’t afraid of drifting through space in a coma inside a pod for years. The fact that I had a similar idea when I was ten years old isn’t very encouraging for the level of imagination displayed in this book.

I don’t like this description so I’m going to pretend that a live Raab looks like that plant elemental in Hellboy 2 (which is one of my favorite movies by the way, so I really recommend it).

So this evil corporation exploits the alien plant to make some genetic experiments. In other news, water is wet.

I never wondered about that. Interesting.

This description is putting very entertaining pictures in my head.

Okay so this is obviously crypted but I’m still laughing

No, sorry, nuh-hu, nope, no way his pockets work that way. There’s way too much stuff in his pockets for this to be true.

HE’S STILL USING THAT ALIAS AFTER ALL THIS TIME

I THOUGHT SEEING I WOULD HAVE CHANGED THAT

Compassion psychically hacking a computer, everybody.

Meanwhile, Fitz is looking for clues and accidentally ends up inside a wardrobe in his boss’ office.

Also, his boss is molting too. Great.

“one of those what-the-hell-am-I-doing panics”

He was way too lucky on this one.

Also I hate that “mega mistake” thing that keeps popping up in this guy’s sentences.

Nice.

DOCTOR PLEASE TRY TO FOCUS AND TRY TO GET OUT OF HERE

“For added effect”

IN MANY WAYS

WOAH DOCTOR HOLY SHIT

Damn, when Eight decides to fight back, you better run very far very quickly.

“HE PONDERED WETHER HE SHOULD WEAR THEM OVER THE TROUSERS TO KEEP THE FLIES CLOSED, BUT DECIDED THAT WOULD BE OSTENTATIOUS”

Good choice

Fitz can be very sweet when he’s caught off guard and drops his “cool uncaring guy with good comebacks” attitude.

Same, Compassion. Same.

I KNEW SHE WAS DOOMED FROM THE START

I JUST KNEW IT

Fitz no

Oh wow okay Compassion is getting increasingly more badass with each book.

“one-size-fits-all and no-size-fits-Fitz”

Unexpected Interference feels

MORE UNEXPECTED INTERFERENCE FEELS

Also, a little Theseus Paradox. It never hurts, especially in this series.

Sometimes, just sometimes, Fitz does something brilliant.

HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK COMPASSION JUST STRAIGHT UP MURDERED A GUY WITH AN AXE

This exchange is kinda long and is pretty interesting, but it would be better if it didn’t use that very old joke with the stolen tent in the end.

WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THE GUY IS GROWING BACK LIKE A PLANT

COMPASSION MURDERED THE SAME GUY TWICE WITH AN AXE

DEAR GOD

FITZ NO

Also do you think he realises the implications of his own statement? Because I don’t think he does

This scene is rather amusing to be honest.

This is, like, the most predictable thing that could happen. Zero points for effort to the writer there.

Hey, Geronimo references! I’m getting flashbacks from Eight’s first audios. Which reminds me I could relisten to them instead of reading this book.

I must admit I snorted.

The villain was killed by the dangerous pretty fishes from the beginning before he even had the time to do anything really threatening. That might just be the most anticlimactic ending I’ve ever seen so far in these books.