JohannesVIII's Doctor Who liveblogs archive: Parallel 59

[Original blog post on Tumblr: May 31st, 2016]

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (Parallel 59).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers. And extremely long.

For almost 180 pages, Parallel 59 was one of the most boring books in the range... and then, the twist unfolded, and it’s a great twist - not a very original one, especially in the year 2000, considering which movie was released less than a year before this book was published, but a great twist nonetheless, because it was signposted very early on and I still didn’t catch any of the clues. Definitely not a cheat at all.

That being said, it’s not enough to save the whole book. I found myself skimming some pages, which I rarely do. Eight is mostly written in a generic Doctorish way, but has a couple of spot on “Eight” moments. Compassion is still mostly an enigma, which I guess is the point. Fitz is written well, which means I wanted to kick him in the balls more than a couple of times.

So yeah, the third act is the best part, but that also means two thirds of the book are fairly boring despite a few fun scenes. The ending is good, though, which is clearly an improvement on the previous book. 5/10

As usual, we’re off to a good start. Eight and Compassion are crammed into some sort of lifepod and are about to land on another planet. Also, claustrophobia, because of course Eight is still very claustrophobic ~~and the writers of this range are all confirmed sadists.~~

That planet’s politics sound terrifying. Get away from here immediately.

Meanwhile Fitz’s pod has landed elsewhere. Of course.

That place sounds absolutely terrifying too in its own way, to be honest.

...Okay so, the regulars ending up in a prison cell is definitely not a new trope in this range (seriously I should make a chart of the number of EDAs in which Eight ends up in a damn cell at some point), but stark naked? That’s... new.

Eight, no

EIGHT, NO. THIS IS BAD. THEY’RE GOING TO DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO YOU TWO. PLEASE FOCUS.

Oh, so these people have two hearts too? Interesting.

COMPASSION LITERALLY MADE THE SCANNER EXPLODE HOLY SHIT

I CAN’T DECIDE IF THIS IS THE BEST OR THE WORST ESCAPE EVER

“Something’s wrong” seems like a euphemism, making a list of things that are right in Compassion’s life would be a lot shorter

Meanwhile - FITZ, NO

My god

[concern for Eight intensifies ~~but I’m laughing at the same time~~]

FITZ YOU’RE A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE

Eight please don’t try to look threatening, you can pull it off on some glorious occasions but it’s difficult with your floppy curls and the fact that you’re almost pocket-sized.

Also when you’re actually spooky it’s usually completely by accident.

Ok so Compassion in a gas mask sounds awesome.

“He remembered he was the Doctor, that this sort of thing happened to him all the time and that he could cope”

Fair enough, please stop hitting him now

You f█cking dork

I doubt Fitz will ever sort out his confusing feelings about Eight but thankfully it doesn’t seem to be mutual or my little heart wouldn’t be able to handle this

NEVERMIND

NEVERMIND I TAKE IT BACK

THE FIRST MELODY THAT POPS INTO EIGHT’S HEAD IS SOME RANDOM MELODY COMPOSED BY FITZ AGES AGO

GOODBYE

Or a tooth. At least it would grow back, according to what we already established in previous books.

Why do I like this piece of trash guy so much. Why am I still emotional about the whole Interference thing. Why am I doing this to myself. Why.

I knew it. I knew this place was terrifying once you scratched the surface.

And back to me wanting to KICK FITZ KREINER IN THE BALLS

Challenge accepted

Okay so this planet’s technology relies on actual sentient living beings being grafted into computers and I TOLD YOU THIS PLACE SUCKED GET AWAY FROM HERE

Don’t give them ideas.

SERVES YOU RIGHT FITZ KREINER

I swear he has three different girlfriends in this book, he needs to be stopped.

WHAT

THE FUCK

SERVES YOU RIGHT²

I shouldn’t be laughing so much but the scene looked very entertaining in my head. Also we’re halfway through the book and he’s still in this cell. Really.

F█CKING FINALLY IT ONLY TOOK YOU ALMOST 150 PAGES

Because it’s exactly what it is.

Probably.

YES PLEASE DO SO AT LEAST THEY WILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO EACH OTHER AND MAKE PLANS TO GET OUT OF HERE

GOD DAMMIT

I’m still angry someone spoiled me what happens to Compassion later.

What the hell is wrong with everything in Mechta

Please stop making terrible puns I’m cringing so hard

He finally figured he could fake his own death to get out. Good.

And it worked, too!

At least he didn’t faint, unlike some other people

Okay Fitz I don't want to alarm you but your town is slowly but surely turning into Silent Hill.

Seriously what the hell is going on, I want to know.

OH OKAY

SO MECHTA IS BASICALLY THE MATRIX AND FITZ IS ONE OF THE MANY UNFORTUNATE PEOPLE WHO ARE POWERING IT WITH THEIR MINDS

That’s a good twist, I like that twist. And it makes sense. All the hints were already here. Could be more original since the Matrix was released less than a year before this book, but still. Also, this planet sucks but we already knew that.

Also I can’t believe I didn’t notice the discrepancy between the number of days Fitz spent in Mechta and the number of days Eight and Compassion spent on Skale.

Oh no baby Eight nooo

Watch out, he’s trying to be menacing! And failing!

Oh my god he just got the information out of Jessen by TICKLING HER

I have no words

I snorted.

In which Compassion continues to not be okay

So far I think Fitz has contributed to ruin the life of all his girlfriends and he’s had like seven of them in these books so far.

Fitz Kreiner needs to be stopped.

It really is like Matrix.

IT MEANS YOU’RE GOING TO BE JETTISONED INTO SPACE

This scene is painting very Giger-like images in my head.

Just what we needed on top of the rest! An alien invasion!

Fitz come back don’t do this you’re trash but I don’t want you to die

[concern for Compassion intensifies]

Damn. This final act is so much better than the rest of the book.

[CONCERN FOR ~~FITZ~~ EVERYONE INTENSIFIES]

He still hopes Fitz is among the six persons that Compassion managed to save, that’s a 2% chance but he hasn’t given up yet oh my god

AZSDFGHJKLDFGHJK GOOD

I really dislike the term “problematic fave” because it’s overused, but Fitz is definitely one. He wants so badly to be a better person and yet keeps falling back into the same terrible habits over and over again.