The Fall of Yquatine

[Original blog post on Tumblr: August 8th, 2016]

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (The Fall of Yquatine).

I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers. And extremely long.

Let’s start with a compliment: Nick Walters, the author of this book, is brave. That’s always better than just writing a basic adventure and not taking any risks whatsoever. There’s a couple of very difficult themes in this book.

And that’s also where the problems start, because these themes are handled by someone who’s apparently bitten more than he can chew. The main one is insensitivity and lack of empathy, but isn’t given a proper conclusion, as if there wasn’t enough time left at the end of the story to deal with it.

Don’t get me wrong, the story isn’t bad by any mean, there's great imagery from time to time, and the regulars are handled pretty well - Compassion, in particular, is incredible in this book. But that main theme of insensitivity, ironically, makes the book a bit insensitive itself, slightly clumsy, and sometimes uncomfortable to read. 6/10

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Oooooh there’s a lot of different alien species everywhere on this planet!

This bar has a lizard barman called an Izrekt, take me to this bar immediately

GET REKT IZREKT

I’M NOT EVEN SORRY FOR THIS JOKE

I’ve said it already but please take me there

Dude, Arielle has already been described as particularly beautiful so don’t try to pretend you’re interested in her personality after talking to her for like one minute, you’re not fooling anybody

I’d say “why did you buy it in the first place” but I would have done the same

FITZ NO

It’s a legitimate question though but still

Priorities, Fitz, priorities.

I’m never going to get used to this

Fitz is channeling my exact reaction

DOCTOR WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

YOU COULD HAVE ASKED FIRST HOLY SHIT

YES YOU SHOULD HAVE

To be fair the Doctor damaging the TARDIS or tinkering with it isn’t something new at all, and the usual one is a living being...

...but it suddenly takes a horrible new meaning when said TARDIS is an actual person who just happens to be a TARDIS.

Eight can still get distracted by small random details even in moments like this one, amazing

OH SO YOU ASKED HER FIRST AND SHE ACTUALLY SAID NO

DOCTOR THIS IS TEN TIMES WORSE

THIS IS AN “ERASING DONNA’S MEMORY” KIND OF BAD

SAME HERE, FITZ, SAME HERE

“I MUST REMEMBER SHE’S A PERSON AS WELL AS A TARDIS” YEAH YOU’D BETTER WRITE THAT ON YOUR DAMN HAND

Well that was effective

Are you telling me Six wouldn’t wear this if given the chance

There’s probably a war going on but Lou Lombardo has his priorities in order

Okay good, Fitz actually found Compassion just in time.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Compassion I know you’re hurt and you want to kill the Doctor but Fitz has nothing to do with it so please can you not do that

Wait what the hell is happening on this planet, I thought it was just a regular military attack

So Compassion still has a heartbeat. Interesting.

Oh shit.

OH SHIT.

She’s going to murder the Doctor once they’re reunited, there’s no way this can be without consequences.

She dumped Fitz in the past. Okay.

Compassion is now in full reckless mode and that means she wasn’t already in that mode when she killed a guy with an axe - twice - a couple of books ago.

Be very afraid.

Oh no this is cute

Fitz is trying to save the random kid without damaging the timeline oh my god

BEST STORY IN THE BOOK EVERYONE CAN GO HOME

Hey at least Fitz did save the kid!

So the obvious big baddies are not the actual big baddies?

HOLY SHIT WHAT

Meanwhile Compassion is scaring the shit out of surgeons everywhere.

Compassion’s new TARDIS form is a mix of wonderfulness and pure terror

Aaaaaaaand now she’s accidentally killed him.

I want to hug Compassion but she’s not the hugging type

Yes good

IS THAT A DAMN WITHNAIL & I REFERENCE

I’M SCREAMING

Fitz you’re sleeping on the goddamn street, how much did you drink last night

This is like an alien version of The Hangover

Oh my bad we’re still in the middle of a giant Withnail & I reference

“PEOPLE OFTEN REMARKED UPON HOW GOOD-LOOKING HE WAS, THOUGH HE HAD NO IDEA HOW IT WORKED”

*coughs* Max Warp *coughs*

I love the contrast between his thoughts and what he ends up saying.

I have no words

“his customary shield of cynicism”

The Anthaurk may not be responsible for the attack but a lot of them are still absolute bastards though.

You’re so dead, Fitz

Well ‘Akhhhh’ is the only appropriate answer, I’ll admit

Fitz no

Also hey look it’s Arielle from the beginning of the book.

That’s not how you write “château”. We should add “a writer misuses the French language” to the EDAs drinking game.

I’m starting to pick a theme of insensitivity and abuse from that book

On one hand, I’m glad Fitz is on her side.

On the other hand - Fitz, you do realise that you already had like seven or eight girlfriends in these books and more than half of them are DEAD, right

Once again Fitz is back in “absolutely sweet guy”-mode, so I’m just waiting for the inevitable moment when I’ll revert back to call him ‘garbage’ after he’s done something terrible

I’m also waiting for the inevitable death of Arielle aka girlfriend number nine

Meanwhile the Doctor tried to communicate with the black thing that has invaded Yquatine and things didn’t go well

Also that Anthaurk is sparking a revolt and she sounds pretty cool

I’d say ‘thank you for this terribly transphobic thought, Fitz” but first he’s from the sixties and second he didn’t say it out loud, so... I’ll forgive it.

Hey, that background is about someone modifying someone else against their will because it’s supposedly for their own good, rings any bells to you?

Fitz’s life is so rotten and complex at this point that he actually envies someone who has a rotten but simple life.

Fitz no

OH SO that cool Anthaurk was Compassion in disguise!

Concern for Compassion intensifies

Hey isn’t that the cover of the book

I think Fitz is beginning to develop some serious abandonment issues

I KNEW SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN TO HER I JUST KNEW IT

OKAY DOCTOR THAT IS CREEPY AS FUCK

F█CK

OKAY YOU CAN STOP NOW

[DR NYARLATHOTEP INTENSIFIES]

Hey it’s not Eight who’s in prison for once

The president, aka Arielle’s ex boyfriend, is confirmed garbage

Well have I got news for you Fitz Kreiner

Go die somewhere mr president

Okay so the terrifying being which currently occupies Eight’s lungs can also be pretty funny in the right circumstances

At least it’s out of his lungs now.

Maybe they’re staring at you because you were possessed by an eldritch abomination two minutes ago, or maybe it’s because you just vomited on the floor in front of them, take a pick

Oh shit haha yet another situation caused by an abandonned sentient weapon? How much do you want to bet it’s another leftover of the War

YES GOOD VERY GOOD

A++ summary, Tibis

Hey this reminds me of something!

WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

FITZ. NO.

The first lottery he’s ever won is a selection for unpaid work on a moon where you can’t breathe and he’s still happy

CONCERN FOR COMPASSION INTENSIFIES

Doctor you deserve to go through hell for this so if something atrocious happens to you in the near future I’m going to pretend it was payback for what you did to Compassion

Not okay

At this point I’m almost certain Eight can pretty much detect anyone talking about Fitz from a mile away

Oh, you know. Probably dead

“another companion gone”

DOESN’T THAT SOUND FAMILIAR

Apply cold water to burned area

Oooooh so that event that was depicted on the cover was even more important than I expected.

It took him something like 130 pages but he finally admitted that it was a terrible idea from A to Z

FINALLY

GOOD

Well here goes the plan to destroy the Omnethoth

W̵̙̖͖̪̜͉͓el̖͓̱̗̳͙̙l҉̳͔̭̲̝ ̸̠̳̩̹͎͉h̰̜͎e̖̺̘͈̝̦̠͞ŗ̮̙ḙ̵̺̘ ̝̯̪͜g̱o̬̹e͏s͏̘̯͇͚ ̭t͓̟̹h̜e͞ ̸͙͖̼̱͎p̞̦̰͘ͅl̙̟̭a̛n̻͕̝͉͠ͅ ̫͓t̡̜̗͉̪͇o̧̜̱̦̮̖ ͔̞d̵̮͎̭̞e̹̤͙͖f͙͙̫͕̦̗̲ę͍͖͖͇̣ͅa̦̖̠̣t̡̞̮̫̩ ͙̦t͔̤h̡̥̭̟e̘̼̗̲ O̹̟͎̦͕m̡̫̖͕̦̺̭̮n̻͓̤e͕̤͟t̶͓h̷͎̦͉̻o͔̠̥̫͚t̙̙̪̤̺h̛̠͉̞̟

THESE GUYS NEVER LEARN

My theory about Fitz and abandonment issues is gaining more credibility by the minute

There’s some striking imagery in this book from time to time, which prevents me from giving it a lower note despite the most cringy moments.

Now would be a good moment for Compassion to arrive

YESSSSSS

I still have zero idea how she’s going to react if she meets the Doctor again but I’ll be very surprised if she doesn’t want to abandon him right there and/or kill him, and she would have every reason to do so

WAIT IT TOOK HER DECADES TO COME BACK

Okay so I know I should focus on Arielle right now but Compassion’s infirmary is the best infirmary ever

Arielle is dead but I still can’t get over the imagery in this infirmary

Yes shut the hell up Fitz

Sorry to burst your bubble, Eight, but the answer is: probably not

Well for once I’m not going to be worried about you Eight

Bye

Everyone is terrible to everyone else in this story I swear

HERE COMES COMPASSION IN BADASS MODE

Okay you know what? Since Sam jumped into her own timestream in Unnatural History, I’m going to pretend this is an echo of Sam.

Hurray for peaceful resolutions.

WAIT IS THAT COMPASSION IN DISGUISE OH DAMN

I was about to say ‘Fitz no’ but it’s more like FITZ YES

Also my headcanon about echo!Sam makes this scene particularly bittersweet

This absolute dork reprogrammed the Omnethoth and noW IT LOOKS LIKE RAINBOW COTTON CANDY I’M HOWLING

I burst out laughing and I don’t really know why

Again: probably not

I kinda want to cry a little bit

Also Compassion hasn’t maimed him yet, which basically makes her a saint

Fitz, seriously, do shut up

Good.

Okay so that wasn’t an entirely satisfactory resolution, but at least Compassion’s in charge now.

I kinda want something terrible to happen to Eight now, though. Which wouldn’t be surprising in this series, mind you. Please bring back Faction Paradox for another round.