JohannesVIII's Doctor Who liveblogs archive: The Janus Conjunction

[Original blog post on Tumblr: September 24th, 2015]

Some highlights of the last EDA I’ve read (The Janus Conjunction).

This isn’t exactly a review, more like some sort of retroactive liveblogging, since I took these screens while reading, along with my reactions. As usual, this is full of spoilers.

On one hand, this book is nasty and unpleasant. It’s full of terrible people doing terrible things, and some of the imagery is pretty graphic (don’t get me started on the effects of the radiation on Janus Prime). I also don’t like the way most of the dialogue is written (there’s very cliché stuff), and I’m pretty sure most of the technobabble doesn’t make any sense (I prefer when writers go “who cares, it’s magic” like in the previous book, instead of trying to justify impossible things). On the other hand, luminous sand! Ancient ruins! Baby spiders! Doomsday weapons! Also, as you’ll see, really fun parts from time to time... when the book isn’t busy being unpleasant, of course. 4/10

Sam’s got a cup of tea and she’s not afraid to use it.

I see what you did there.

EIGHT OFFERING CHOCOLATE TO A GIANT SPIDER-DROID, EVERYONE

Predictable.

THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE DOCTOR AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF GO TO YOUR ROOM

Okay so, remember that throwaway line about the importance of lipids in the human body near the beginning of Vampire Science? And what would happen to a human body without lipids? Well, this author looked at it and was like “HELL YEAH LET’S DO THIS”.

Friendly reminder that Sam has heard the Doctor’s real name before and I’m still laughing about this everytime I remember the plot of The Name of the Doctor.

HOW DOES THAT F█CKING WORK WHAT THE HELL

Doctor, please go put a shirt on.

GO PUT A SHIRT ON

This is far too adorable to be in a book in which people are slowly melting alive because of radiations and giant spiders are getting turned into droids.

See what I mean?

SEE WHAT I F█CKING MEAN

If anyone can feel sorry for giant spiders that will be Eight, considering how friendly that other one was in The Scarlet Empress.

Have I mentioned how much I like the luminous sand thing?

Hey look, Lunder has just caught the Idiot Ball!

HOW DOES THAT F█CKING WORK²

How can you possibly get tired of McGann’s voice, Moslei, that’s what I’d like to know, I mean yeah you’re a villain but come on.

That’s it that’s the show

BEST DIALOGUE IN THE WHOLE BOOK

I see what you did there².

DOCTOR NO THAT WAS TERRIBLE

I don’t know if that’s the intended reaction but that whole situation makes me laugh out loud.

Okay I definitely know that the intended reaction here is not “awwwwwww”.

The Doctor had a little chat with dozens of baby spiders and I know Julya was completely horrified but that’s actually adorable.

SAM ALREADY HAS AN INFECTED BULLET WOUND AND A FORM OF RADIATION POISONING THAT’S GOING TO MAKE HER ENTIRELY MELT IF NOTHING’S DONE AND NOW SHE’S GOT TO REMOVE A TRACKING DEVICE IN HER ARM

I’M “NOPE”-ING AS HARD AS I CAN

I’M NOT GOING TO SCREEN THAT SCENE BUT IT WAS EXCRUCIATING TO READ TRUST ME YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THAT

SAME HERE

Meanwhile the Doctor still shares some sort of empathic link with the baby spiders and this asshole killed a bunch of them plus their mother while trying to rescue Julya and the Doctor so he’s not happy about this.

I’m glad there’s at least one hug like this in each book, because so far I’ve yet to get tired of this kind of happy-feel-good-running-towards-each-other scene.